alt_seamus | Oi Ravenclaws

Yes, we did. And yes, we are.

Yeah, we thought...well, some people's weren't too bad, but with all the fuss over other people's, we figured it'd be best if we kept it to ourselves.

So, your boggart. That was meant to be a muggle?

Or a really short troll?

What's it to you, Weasley?

Just wanted to know why you were so scared of it.

Looked more stupid and filthy than scary to me. I mean, what was it going to do with that tin of--what were they, peas?--throw it at you?

I mean, I admit, it was pretty funny when you turned it into a cream pie and had the thing squash it into his own face.

It was holding a bomb, not a tin of peas. Bombs blow up. They can kill a lot of people at once. Even wizards.

Even a filthy, stupid muggle can murder hundreds of people at once with a big enough bomb.

Wouldn't you just petrificus 'em? Before they make the thing explode? Or transfigure all the bombs into cream pies?

Seems sorta daft for wizards to be scared of that.

Coming from someone who's screamed like a giddy girl over a spider on a window ledge, that's pretty funny.

Even a muggle can hide, or sneak up on you. And there are a LOT of muggles in Ireland and we haven't been able to catch them all to put them in camps. You might be killing the one you see with a bomb, but there's another behind you.

How hard are you trying?

We have loads more of them here and they didn't have any trouble putting them in camps. Maybe some of your wizards aren't trying very hard? Or you're not very good wizards.

Yeah, you have loads more of them here. ASLEEP. We've got no sleepers in Ireland; they're ALL awake.

Makes things a bit different, innit?

Why'nt you put them to sleep, then?

We did.

It didn't work everywhere in England, you know. If a muggle had a wizard neighbor, for instance, it didn't work. If they had something magical in their house, which some muggles do, it didn't work, and there were lots of other things that could make it go wrong, which is WHY there are CAMPS instead of just lots of sleeping muggles plus the ones we need in service.

It didn't work in Ireland AT ALL.

So there are loads of muggles loose. And we have to take care of them the hard way. And you can SHUT YOUR GOB about how maybe we aren't TRYING.

That what you scream about at night, then?

Muggles blowing up tins of peas?

Shut it, Weasley.

Or what?

Keep flapping your gob and you'll find out, eh?

He's such an ASS.

He's a complete idiot. Just ignore him.

I'm going to hex him.

Where is he right now? Have you seen him? Is he out by the lake with Parkinson again?

Well, that was before I saw what he was saying about how you're not trying hard enough.

Doesn't he know what would happen to your family if the muggles took over again?

Lakshmi, Weasley's not just rude and thick, he's utterly horrid.

I haven't seen him all day, either, but let's think of how to get him. I bet Cox would have some ideas. Or Draco and Teddy.

OOH, you know what? Director Selwyn said he'd put a hex on Higgs, didn't he, the kind that would make him say to everyone what kind of person he is? I wonder if we could find how to do that.

And that's a brilliant idea for a hex.

I read this morning that what Higgs has to say is, 'I'm a blabbermouth who can't be trusted! Don't tell me anything you don't want the world to know!'

What do you think Weasley should have to say, if I can work out how to make him say it?

How about 'I'm a dirty great selfish moron with no sense of what it is to be a proper wizard.'

Not bad but everyone knows that already; maybe we should have him tell everyone something a little bit new? Like 'I wish I'd been born a squib because then I'd be just like those muggles I love so much!'

Well, honestly, Seamus...don't get cross, but he's not actually saying he loves muggles (though mudbloods, you might have a point). He was saying you're a tosser if you can't keep muggles in line.

But how about 'I'm rubbish when it comes to any concept of why muggles are dangerous and had to be controlled.'

I suppose you have a point.

It can't be too long, though. Maybe just, 'I'm an eejit'?

'And my mum is fat.'

Or how about 'I'd rather have a row than make a friend.'

Would he even mind admitting that? That he'd rather row than have friends, I mean.

Draco suggested I wait until Weasley thinks I've forgotten. So I've got a few days.

I still have to look up the hex.

Found it. It was in one of the books Mr Rosier bought me this summer.

Want to meet after dinner?

Sure.

I don't think he's clever enough to know what would happen, or decent enough to care.

He'd probably LOVE to have the muggles take over again, here AND there, and to force all the wizards to hide who we are and pretend they're better than us. He'd probably think that was just GRAND.

Please tell me that you and Padma are discussing the best ways to hex off Weasley's hands and/or mouth.

I can't believe the thing he fears the most is SPIDERS. He ought to fear a lot more than that, with the way he presents himself.

Padma thinks I should just ignore him.

Right now I don't know where he is, but he's got to sleep some time. And eat.

It's true that he would likely get some sort of perverse pleasure in it if you came after him now.

Wait it out and get him when he thinks you've forgotten all about.

That's good advice.

If I can keep my temper long enough to convince him I've forgotten.

So it's true what they say about the Irish and tempers, then? When I'm hacked off I usually find Teddy or Greg and see if they're up for some work on dark spells. That usually helps.

Mr Rosier blames it on me being a Gryffindor. He says I have a lion's temperment and need to learn when to stalk instead of roar.

Anyway, I didn't find Weasley earlier. So I can take my time and plan. The trouble is I want him to KNOW why he was hexed. What you did on the astronomy tower was brilliant, everyone knew what it was for even if no one knew for certain who'd done it. (I mean, I still don't know for SURE it was you, but it seems like the sort of thing you'd come up with.)

And I mean that in the best way possible, just to be clear.

Weasley swooning on the Astronomy tower was beautifully done.

In that case, whoever did it probably appreciates that you think so.

That's true about lions, now that I think on it - they're not always about roaring. Unless they're named Weasley, of course.

Oi Ravenclaws

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